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Heartstave

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Slumbering Giants [20 Sep 2007|11:12am]
Sitting inside the college library, things are getting better i think. Im finding closure even though i dont want it sometimes. I was sitting in the grass this morning, in the rain, reflecting. I came to this conclusion. I sat with my back against a tree and thought, this tree has seen tears, pain, agony, woe and misery yet here he stands. Tall and proud. Just like the tree, i must weather events and somehow stand tall for everyone to see. The pain? It hasnt left. Do it think it will leave? No. Forever will it stay. "Chin up"- From Cliff
1 Autumns
untold

Babbling Fool [18 Sep 2007|03:53pm]
"I will hold my breath until the end"

Th eonly answer to pain is more pain. Ive decided that working out is the only way for me to clear my mind. Nothing else does it anymore. Ive tried everything. Cody is helping me. Thank you to my friends. I have no idea what i would do without you guys. I really dont know. Probally burn myself again. (Im not, promise) Things must get better.

"The night is darkest before dawn"
1 Autumns
untold

Another Day [25 Aug 2007|07:32am]
[ mood | blank ]

Make your way down the face
Of everything we know
Go so far see other places and
Other people I won't know about

And breathe in deep let it out slow
Did you hear it's all my fault again
I know why no one else knows
why I'm here all alone again

make it sound so good that
I won't be right and I walk alone tonight
outside my house and outside my mind
no matter what I say I'm never right

Breathe in deep let it out slow
Did you hear it's all my fault again
I know why no one else knows
Why I'm here all alone again

Thursday Morning is one of those mornings that brings little to no relief. Still angry. Still feeling like shit. I have no friends and i miss all my old ones. Someone call me please. It pains me to even sit here and type fore yet another day has past with no change from my insides. Thought about running away. I could do it. Maybe even get pretty far, before Cody and Dad hunted me down. Im lonely sitting here by myself thinking like i am. All i can dream of is me standing blindfolded with 8 men holding guns. One bullet. One innocent soul. One moment and One death.

Thinking of converting back into a EmoKid. I dont know, the whole idea isnt very promising. Maybe i should try delving into Chivilry.

Кто-то угождает концу моя нищета.


1 Autumns
untold

Sunday Afternoon [31 Jul 2007|05:26pm]
[ mood | lazy ]

Good Afternoon,

Today was the lazy summer sunday. I really have only hungout with my dad of whom ive seen none of for like a month. Went shopping with him for new boots then came home and prepped for the up coming BBQ. I signed up for classes and now im started to finally work on my summer school classes. Ive been lazy, shoot me. Sword fighting. Phew. Tiring.

2 Autumns
untold

Will-o-Wisps [10 May 2007|06:18am]
[ mood | calm ]

Good morning to everyone.
*yawn* Today is the day that i regain my motivation to do everything. It was in a slump for a little while. Nothing cool was making me move faster then i should be. My ducks are finally laying eggs. Went on a anger rampage and bruised Cliffs tail bone with my warhammer. Built a new spear. Poor Bree has her tonsils inflamed. I think that means you have to get them taken out. I really do, but i dont know whats going to happen. She has AP testing today....Blah......

Summers coming and i have created my list of this i want to do...
Summer Activities Ideas
• Getty Museum of Art
• Knott’s Berry Farm
• Magic Mountain
• Beach (Zuma, Sycamore, Thornhill Broom)
• Camping
• San Diego (Tanya)
• Sacramento (Bree’s Family)
• Vampire Game
• Sword Fighting
• Santa Barbra Zoo
• Universal City Walk
• Disneyland
• Swimming
• Bowling
• Ice Skating
• Movie Night
• Board Game Night
• Solvang
• London

Sign up for one if you want to go...No issue at all...

Gabby. Feel Better.

1 Autumns
untold

Angels and Demons [07 May 2007|07:04pm]
Sword fighting, what a rush. I prefer the shield and longsword/mace. We will see what happens this summer in the events. Oh yes, there will be a event and Oh yes, there will be blood.

Spent the most amazing time of my life with Bree at the beach last night. Came home and slept. So peaceful. So amazing. Thank you love.
1 Autumns
untold

Relaxing [30 Apr 2007|11:49am]
[ mood | relaxed ]

Sitting here in San Diego chilling out letting the sounds of irish music soak in. Im loving it, just sitting around learnin g to juggle, thinking about a certain someone, smelling BBQ and listening to ryan play the penny plute to Flogging Molly. Well, it has been a interesting week. I vowed to try harder and do better and thats what i plan on doing.

1 Autumns
untold

[27 Apr 2007|01:42pm]
Sad and alone.
1 Autumns
untold

TEAM WHOOP WHOOP [02 Apr 2007|07:03am]
Good Evening, Good Morning and Good Afternoon. I just finished my drivers training traffic violation or also known as " a giant waste of percious time on video" No worries though, Im Done! Going to the farmers market this morning, im soooo stoked.

I have a problem. Today is that time when you change the clocks. Im supposed to wake Bree up at 8. But its 7, but i need to call at 8, but ill feel like a ass..Damn

Love you all....

Starting a Dodgeball team, Whose down?

My name is "Thunder" For obvious reasons
2 Autumns
untold

Weeping Willows [30 Mar 2007|07:51am]
[ mood | lonely ]

Todd came up last night from San Diego for a night. We hungout and had a pretty good time. I miss him alot sometimes cause i feel like he was the older brother i always wanted but never had. I had another experience with him last night just talking and him giving me advice. I guess im a pretty messed up person.

I thought i was doing the right thing, but i guess i was wrong.
I thought that everything was fine, but i guess im wrong.
I walked in like a surefooted knight and left a misshapen being without form.

I dont know what im doing today. I wanted to go surfing and teach Bree how to surf. Maybe some tanning for her and some sand castle building for me, but i dont know if that will even happen. I dont know alot of things.

Whenever you think...You think you know...You think you have it down...The hand come crashing down and the blame lands on you.

1 Autumns
untold

Saturday Morning [26 Mar 2007|07:23am]
[ mood | calm ]

Monday- Surfing
Tuesday- Rain
Wednesday- Surfing
Thursday- Homework
Friday- Bree
Saturday- Chores and Bree
Sunday- Bree

I have a pretty mixed up life. No worries.
Dear god i ate so much candy and chocolate last night i thought i was going to die. I passed
Out on Bree's bed and slept for a hour....Im such a alco. Damn World, I love it.

Mowing the lawn today and cleaning my truck up. Anyone else down?

untold

[24 Mar 2007|09:41am]
I HATE SPRING BREAK HOMEWORK................RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
IM GOING TO EAT SOMEONE
RAQWR


Numa Numa Yay!~
untold

Rules for Adventurers [16 Mar 2007|08:02pm]
[ mood | Tired ]

Rules for Adventurers

as compiled by Shadowblade, Ravengriff Black, and High Priestess Aeloaea

1)         When dealing with evil demons, it can never be THAT easy.  No matter how difficult “that easy” was.  This applies to other big nasties as well, not just demons.

2)         The NPC you offend today is the one who has what you need tomorrow.

3)         More ammunition than you can carry is never enough.

4)         Never let the rookie talk until you know what he’s going to say.

5)         You can neither run nor hide from a prophecy.  If you appear to be the focus of a prophecy, throw yourself into a volcano or huge vat of acid.

6)         Sometimes, being owed a favor is better than money, power/magic, or blood.

7)         Always remember Rules 1 through 6.

8)         Just because someone can hunt is no reason not to take food.

9)         Bigger is not always better.  It is scarier, though.

10)        Try not to sleep with every willing member of the opposite sex you come across.  It will come back to haunt you.

11)        Avoid falling in love with members of your own party.  It causes trouble in the long run.

12)        When someone asks for charity, give it.

13)        Knights and nobles can be ransomed, occasionally even the Bad Guys.

14)        Treat companions well.  They may be persuaded to help out in the future.

15)        The “Cavalry” comes in many different forms.

16)        If you kill a rival or powerful enemy, make sure you get loved ones and family members as well.

17)        If you kill a rival or powerful enemy, make sure they’re dead.  It’s also a good idea to completely destroy the body.

18)        Don’t take any information at face value.

19)        Trust and listen to your instincts.  But it is not always necessary to act on them.

20)        When you fall in love and plan to marry, retire.  Preferably somewhere far removed from your reputation.

21)        Hide your wealth and live modestly.

22)        Never, ever, refer to the Queen or princess as “Babe.”  Or a sorceress, warrioress, high priestess, ambassador, etc.

23)        If someone asks for mercy, remember their nature.

24)        Be generous with and forgiving of your allies.

25)        Everyone has bad days.

26)        Be generous and polite to children, but keep close tabs on your possessions.

27)        Avoid items of power that glow or make noise.

28)        Do not ask for favors.  Live on your own merit, not another’s.

29)        Do not accept an appointment or quest beyond your ability to complete.

30)        Royalty is fickle.

31)        It takes very little to turn love into suspicion.

32)        If an animal seems to notice something nearby, pay attention.

33)        Not all enemies are evil.

34)        Not all enemies are mannerless barbarians.

35)        Just because you’re the Good Guys is no excuse to act like mannerless barbarians.

36)        Try to remember the exact wording.  Or, even better, here’s a concept for you:  write it down.

37)        Make sure somebody knows how to read and play music.

38)        Trust and respect cannot be bought with money.

39)        Neither a person’s parents nor their teacher makes them special.

40)        Always double-check what someone else has done for you.

41)        The Bad Guys don’t have holidays.

42)        The Good Guys do.

43)        Even if you hate the enemy more than anything else, always be civil and not openly hostile.

44)        NPCs are people, too.

45)        When you go to an inn or tavern, always buy one round of drinks, if you can afford it.

46)        There are worse things than death and imprisonment.

47)        The one person who seems completely worthless seldom is.

48)        Don’t talk down to anyone or anything.

49)        Quit while you’re ahead.

50)        Pay your taxes and no one gets hurt.

51)        Anyone who says “trust me” or is named “Honest” anything cannot be trusted.

52)        When the ruler says, “I’ve got a little job for you,” depart with all haste.

53)        Just because peasants bow to you doesn’t mean kings will.

54)        You may possess the Studly Sword of Slaying, but someone else made it.  And they lost it.

55)        Magical persons have more low-level spells than high-level ones, and more often than not, they’re more useful.  This also applies to gadgeteers and mad scientists and their equipment.

56)        Be considerate of bards.  They write satires as well as epics.

57)        The more powerful the item, the more devastating the curse, and the more dangerous the enemy seeking it.

58)        Just because it doesn’t work the way you expected doesn’t mean it isn’t perfect.

59)        When looking for love, remember these three guidelines:

            A)         no royalty,

            B)         no members of the opposing side, and

            C)         nothing that won’t pass for your own species.

60)        Never take their first offer.

61)        Be wary of handouts.

62)        Good maps are traps.

63)        Care for your equipment; it takes care of you.

64)        Camaraderie, that “all for one and one for all” spirit, is wonderful, but everyone has their own agenda.

65)        You will not meet a bunch of strangers at a tavern and decide to go raid a dragon’s hoard or ancient lost treasure.  If you do, keep an eye on them.

66)        The shortest distance between two points is where they set up the ambush.

67)        Nice, quaint, quiet villages aren’t.

68)        If only two options present themselves, find the third.

69)        Never say, “How much?”

70)        More wealth than you can spend in a lifetime will be.

71)        Listen to the experts, but be careful what you believe in.

72)        A secret weakness is not secret.

73)        Making something complicated increases the odds that something will go wrong by an exponential amount every time.

74)        Never say, “Things can’t get much worse.”  Please.

75)        If the Powers That Be say you don’t need something, believe them.

76)        Your enemy’s enemy probably isn’t your ally.

77)        Be courteous to women.  Don’t overdo it; they can use weapons, too, and they’re sneakier.

78)        If both a person’s hands aren’t visible, don’t greet them with a handshake or hug.

79)        Should someone hurry you out of a room, look for a reason.

80)        Holy warriors don’t have to be naïve or stupid.

81)        Avoid anyone or anything that acts stupid.  Either they are, and they’re dangerous, or they’re not, and they’re even more dangerous.

82)        Always keep a useless item to sacrifice.

83)        The kid you used to pick on will become the General of the Armies one day.

84)        Do not make enemies of your own party.  There are plenty of others for that. 

85)        Make extra copies of everything.

86)        Flash and style are fun.  But they’ll remember that.

87)        The cute fuzzy bunny has big, nasty, pointed teeth.

88)        Find a hobby that does not involve stealing, fighting, or wielding power of any sort.

89)        Be loyal, but be loyal to the right side.

90)        Act and dress to fit the circumstances.

91)        Do not take advantage of those who are helpless under your power.  The balance may shift, and they will remember what you’ve done.

92)        Make sure all guards are awake, willing, and part of the party.  No temporary help of any kind is completely safe and trustworthy.

93)        Pay attention to the background music.

94)        Whatever happens, don’t lick the walls.

95)        Clean up after yourself; don’t leave evidence.

96)        Pets will put up with a lot, but enough is enough.

97)        If it’s important, don’t take it apart.

98)        Know the dimensions and ranges of your weapons and the space around you.

99)        Know the rudiments, at least, of your enemy’s language.

100)      Always relieve yourself before the battle.

101)      When the security specialist says, “Oops,” evacuate.

102)      Pillage before you burn.

103)      It’s only cheating if you get caught; otherwise, you’re just bending the rules.

104)      Live like there’s no tomorrow.  You’re an adventurer; there may not be.

1 Autumns
untold

Slumbering Giants II [16 Mar 2007|07:47pm]
[ mood | Sick and Tired ]

So here I am it's in my hands
And I'll savor every moment of this
So here I am alive at last
And I'll savor every moment of this

And won't you think I'm pretty
When I'm standing top the bright lit city
And I'll take your hand and pick you up
And keep you there to so you can see
As long as you're alive and care
I promise I will take you there
And we'll drink and dance the night away

As long as you're alive
Here I am
I promise I will take you there

My parents called me while i was at youth group and told me to come home. I have a virus/strepped throat and
i shouldnt have been there in the first place. i guess it is my fault if anyone gets sick because im a fool.
I should start paying attention to other peoples well beings. I left Bree at youth group. She wanted to stay.

Spring Break is coming up. Should be a bundle of fun for myself. I hope so atleast. Ive decided that i need
to take a break from the world, straighten myself up and then jump back in. Maybe soon. Maybe not.
untold

Slumbering Giants [16 Mar 2007|07:59am]
Im sick
- Fatigue
- Tired
- Sore Throat
- Headache

Whole package. Love it
untold

Wondering Why [14 Mar 2007|06:07pm]
[ mood | Im thinking it over ]

and it's all in how you mix the two
and it starts just where the light exists
it's a feeling that you cannot miss
and it burns a hole through everyone that feels it

well you're never gonna find it
if you're looking for it
won't come your way
well you'll never find it
if you're looking for it

should've done something but I've done it enough
by the way your hands were shaking
rather waste some time with you

and you never would have thought in the end
how amazing it feels just to live again
it's a feeling that you cannot miss
it burns a hole through everyone that feels it

Another interesting day. Spent much time with my girlfriend Bree while she was being sick. Lots of my weekend was dedicated to her, but thats alright. I have thousands of more weekends to live through. Spending one on a important person doesnt cut the skin at all. Today is Monday, another one of the days in which i wake up and feel the sharp claws of life dig deep into my eyes. I dont understand life. I dont know wiether to die now or to spend the rest of my life questioning it. Everything is temporary. Nothing last forever. Being full, Full tank of Gas, Money in my pocket, Moments with Bree, Pain. I dont understand it at all, but i guess ill keep working my way through life just not knowing.

Dad says i should be getting married in the next 5 years. Great. Im actually looking forward to it all. I want to be happy and wake up next to a person i love. I want to run around with my kids. I want to feel the temporary happiness. Makes me feel like a drug addict who wants his next hook-up of happiness and love.

Im trying to be more motivated. I feel i am motivated, but i want more. I want to waste little time.

I dont know.

I guess ill just go on with it...Why not? Nothing better to do.




3 Autumns
untold

Illness [10 Mar 2007|06:20pm]
Bree's Sick. Poor Girl. I tried to take care of her, but that doesnt make you better. Just makes you comfortable while your sick. Love you.


TODDS COMING HOME....
untold

I wont stand alone. [06 Mar 2007|09:38am]
[ mood | discontent ]

Every little tear that ran down my face was worth spending the time with you.
Every frown that retched from my face was worth seeing the smile on yours.
Every pain that lashed through my body was worth the warm touches you gave.
Im sorry that you feel the pain deep down inside. Know that your not to blame.

Burdens heavy my heart, i want to draw my sword a slay my enemy. He brings pain to me and my love and the only way for the pain to go away is to work around it. I want to burn him, I want to kill him.

I love only one person in this poor bitter world and she knows it. Everything will be fine.
The hours to come before i can be saved my your grace are the ones that will ripe me apart.
I want to whisper everything will be alright and have it come true.

Everything is going to be fine. It just takes a little while. I know your not used to it, but know that i love you.
I want to hold you forever. I want to kiss you tonight. I want to share a smile. I want fly with you again.

untold

Droplets of Tears [04 Mar 2007|09:39am]
[ mood | bouncy ]


Who does this? I tried do it at a show and i felt like a animal rights activist.


.....Im a fool.......

Everytime i go to wash my truck it rains. Bite me rain man, bite me.

Santa Monica tommorow night. Whoop!

untold

EarthCrafter [25 Feb 2007|01:14pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Nature, the gentlest mother,
Impatient of no child,
The feeblest or the waywardest,
Her admonition mild

In forest and the hill
By traveller is heard,
Restraining rampant squirrel
Or too impetuous bird.

How fair her conversation,
A summer afternoon,
Her household, her assembly;
And when the sun goes down

Her voice among the aisles
Incites the timid prayer
Of the minutest cricket,
The most unworthy flower.

When all the children sleep
She turns as long away
As will suffice to light her lamps;
Then, bending from the sky

With infinite affection
And infiniter care,
Her golden finger on her lip,
Wills silence everywhere.

Nature, That which entices the soul. Im in love with her. You say who? I say one women with two souls. Bree, such a beautiful girl with the soul of a creative artist and the soul of mother earth. I look into her eyes and i see the storm clouds, the secluded waterfalls and the sounds of tree's grasping for the skies. I worked outside all day today and felt the soil and the cool touch on my hands. Mystically Magical.

Tonight will be another amazing night. Going to the FV show in Simi Valley, taking my labs on a walk with Bree and then getting ice cream. Who could ask for a more perfect night that with the person you are so deeply attached too.

---There are exceptions to every rule---
---Im in love with a angel----

untold

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